When Things Don’t Go My Way (a lesson in expectation)

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This morning I went to write at the coffee shop, like I do every Saturday.

It’s funny how ironic life is, how foreshadowing is a real phenomenon that happens to ordinary people.

Last night I mourned loss for a friend. And I remembered a season when all my expectations were shattered, and I was left in my loneliness with God.

This morning, I drove half way there to discover my wallet was still at home.

And when I finally got to the coffee shop, to settle down into my work, the laptop was charged to a whopping 17%.

Then and there I wanted to throw my hands up and forget it all, because Heaven forbid, I simply read and write in a journal for two hours.

There, that moment, was the breaking point. And in those moments, if I choose to lean in and let things be, and if I even ask Him to speak, all things may be redeemed.

So I prayed, Speak into my little listening mess.

And surely, He who promised is faithful.

Maybe it’s my super “feely” heart that makes this so hard–the way I picture something to unfold, aesthetically beautiful in every way, even something as simple as sipping a latte and staring out a window.

It is, of course, okay to dream, to imagine, to look forward to something.

But we shouldn’t throw up a white flag of surrender at the first unforeseen glitch along the way.

Perhaps there, we just lean in closer, even and especially when it’s painful.

Perhaps we let go of ourselves and breathe and ask what else there is to be seen.

Perhaps the unmet expectations open doors for new ones, and we are renewed in ourselves once again, brought into the light of the sun that blazes high and wide over these spring & lenten days.

The flowers still open, despite the world whirling around them, despite the unexpected frost and the cloudy skies. They still call out “Spring!” and reach for the heavens.

So we must call out for life, even in the midst of the unexpected, even in our little listening mess.

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